RaRa the Big-Ass-Mama

2006-10-02T21:29:00.000+08:00

Please I'm not a chao mugger!

Its a very sensitive word in AJ btw. So please, i shan't associate myself with it.

Ok blog shall R.I.P. from now... till forever maybe?

"I wanna breeze and an open mind
I wanna swim in the ocean
Wanna take my time for me
All me

So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home"
- Maybe Tomorrow, Stereophonics

2006-09-25T23:00:00.000+08:00

Ok la. I must admit it was rather fun to be a 15 yr old once again and scream like some boy-crazy girl.

Singapore Idol frenzie. Its all doreen tan's fault I swear. She's such an overgrown kid!!

Everyone is going all racist la. Please hor. We don't need SINGAPORE idol to divide the nation. Blame the bloody chinese ah peks for not voting and not the malay macheecks for voting. So another Malay guy won, thats what Singapore seemed to have wanted la!

"Suddenly yesterday I realised shopping is so frivolous" - Doreen Tan a.k.a. 35/05 shopping queen.

I just had to quote that. Coming from her?! Ok I have to make it clear I don't think shopping is totally frivolous just that girls sometimes tend to take it abit overboard. Looking at the number of bags they have, number of packets of unopened packets of earings and chains that have been coming in the mail from online orders and the list of things that they STILL want, you get the idea.

I'm not gonna go all "save the kids in africa stop buying handbags" now. Just maybe the next time u spend $100 on a bag, think for more than a minute ok? (cos sometimes for such girls thinking is a chore la please be understanding.)

Break over. Singapore Idol results big deal? NO WAY. Prelim results out tmr and the following days. DRUMROLL.......

2006-09-22T21:26:00.000+08:00

PHEW

Reaons for big sigh of relief:
1. Prelims are over (and i managed to keep to my promise to myself of not blogging till then!)
2. My Blog didn't disappear while I was inactive (it worried me as i signed in)
3. Mother is out of the house (so there is peace.. SHHH. HI MUM!! *with big smiley and innocent eyes*)

Well I actually thought I'd just shut down this god damned blog but where else would I go to rant and rumble? Aye anywhere la please.

Gilmore Girls and One Tree Hill are gonna be back for season 7 and 4 respectively in September!! Great timing eh? Just as I'm going to (yes GOING to) settle down again to study, they have a great way of keeping me busy downloading and watching episodes every week. Still, OTH is down to its final season! :( I super duper hope it doesn't end like season 3 did la. (spoiler: everyone died in a car crash. )

Post-Prelim activities have been filled with very enjoyable activities such as very-successful-class-outings, birthday surprises for love, secret ah lian activities and some very good and very bad movies.

Good Movies: Ray, United 93, Loose Change
Bad Movies: Little Man (WARNING: DON'T WATCH IT)

Actually I started watching Loose Change during prelims cos i thought it'd be appropriate since it was 9/11 anniversary and all. To ppl who have yet to watch it, please do!

I was talking to weishing from zero-infinity and he told me he watched it and said 'yeah some of it might be true, but theres nothing we can do bout it what'. Was quite surprised at his reaction maybe cos I had just finished watching it this morning and the shock and the disgust hadn't yet sunken in. Well I must say some of what they say are rather far-fetched (eg. reading into what a guy identifies himself on the phone to his mother) but most of what they say really does make sense. Maddox thinks that its all bluff just cos the film-maker is still alive anyway.

Maybe by tmr I'll be going SO WHAT as well. But today I say the Bush Administration should answer the questions posed in the video.

I'm super appauled by the coup in Thailand btw. Coups are what we learn in history man. Not supposed to be happening here and now in this day and age. I'm even more afraid that our RSSP plans to go to bangkok might be ruined! Hardly consoled by pictures of ppl taking photos with the tanks la. Not funny ST.

"Of course we still have some weirdos, councillors and sarah yap, who really love the school." - Harry's Blog

Well, I have to defend myself against the accusation of being a weirdo. Lets just say I'm appreciatve. I really am. I do realise that in many ways AJ less than meets expectations, and in many more ways cannot compare to other JCs. Yet, I feel that it does not deserve the kind of harsh criticism it recieves from the students themselves. I for one travel 2 hours each day to and from school yet I would still say that its been all worth it. If a person like me who probably had less time to do other things as a result of attending this school can still enjoy school and maximise my time and productivity by not wallowing in regret and helplessness, why can't anyone else?

Heres an activity I want all of you to try:
Calm youself and say to yourself "I am (insert your name here)".

Is it just me a limin or does everyone (except van) feel a little wierd?

Happy Bday GohYiling! ;)

2006-08-31T23:18:00.000+08:00

Funny day. :)

Mer's 1st Big Breakfast, my 1st show with Limin, Mer's 1st show with Cleavon, Limin's 1st show with Mer. (eee. why zit all bout mer!)

Devil Wears Prada is alrite. Definately not worth weekend price but if u've got a spare $7.50 its worth the few laughs la. We've gotta try Emily's diet!! ("I've got this new diet... I don't eat at all! And when i feel like faiting, I pop a cheese cube in my mouth!")

Munich is a hell loooong show. Sorry but I kept falling alseep while watching it at wj's house. Might have been better if i had watched it from the start. Sleep was equally satisfying though!

Well u should have concluded by now... Ra ain't exactly spending her time STUDYING as she should be.

Therefore this blog shall be suspended till the end of my prelims. Bye see ya'll soon.

2006-08-25T20:40:00.000+08:00

Oh no, this couldn't be more unexpected
And I can tell you I've been moving in so slow
Don't let it throw you off too far
Cause I'll be running right behind you

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously
- So Contagious, Acceptance

Daryl, this is one of things that drive me crazy. I think its just crazy to go out of line about something or someone rite? haha. Sorry my econs group leader just happens to have to bear my sorrows during econs tutorials at times.

Its amazing. U know how sometimes you're just apprehensive about opening up to someone or telling that person how u feel. Well. Then just don't. The feeling is probably all wrong. :)

j.m. - I'm seriously concerned man. U sure u fine. Being a camwhore one of the symtoms of insanity boy.

ash - send send! can't find it la. besides. singnet is on my trail. might catch me anytime for downloading stuff. yikes.

mer - no la. u big shot thats why he tag ur board ma. twohill + chinese = MUAHAHAHA.

2006-08-23T17:14:00.000+08:00

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find, you and I collide
- Collide, Howie Day

CRASH BANG BOOM.

collide
v 1: crash together with violent impact; "The cars collided"; "Two meteors clashed" [syn: clash] 2: be incompatible; be or come into conflict; "These colors clash" [syn: clash, jar] 3: cause to collide; "The physicists collided the particles"

How come in that song it sounds like colliding is such a romantic thing. Like YAY we collide.

BECAUSE YOU ALL AREN'T USING YOUR DICTIONARIES ENOUGH. GOING TO RUIN YOUR LIVES LIKE THAT.
- Ms Daljit AJC.

2006-08-22T22:04:00.000+08:00

Why why why. Why CWO?!

I'm an A level student this year who is less than 3 weeks away from her prelims.

One day (the day after the national day break), my alarm clock decides not to ring and I don't wake up till 9am. Of course by then I'm super duper late cos I was supposed to wake at 5.30. Considering I stay miles and miles away from my institution of choice, I reach sch at 9.45 after paying $12 to mr. comfort and missing NO academic lessons (unless u consider PE and break very academic la) YET to my horror...... I kenna CWO. (corrective work la order all u non-AJ friends!)

Okok. I sound like a spoilt brat now. Shut ra.

Despite my displeasure about having to spend my 1.5hour today doing CWO and afterward, REFLECTING, i must say that CWO was kinda therapeutic. (Must be all that terpentine I inhaled while cleaning the whiteboards of block 11. oh gosh. unglam.) Doing menial labour is so brainless that I feel rested when I do it la. I'm not belitting the people who clean the classrooms for a living la. I guess different ppl just have different giftings. Like how I just can't get those stains off the board but the auntie just might?

Still still. 1.5 hours is way too long. I think I've been late more than 8 times la. Guru constantly reminds us of the implications of being late... -_-"

Belly - Am very touched by your display of affection. How to be normal?! Some ppl weight up and down like a bloody yo yo?! Stacy Tan skinny banana.

JM- Hello!

Mer - U are bad friend. HMPH. Make up for it NOW.

2006-08-20T17:56:00.000+08:00

Another another! Shh.. taking a BREAK from work ma..

2006-08-20T17:37:00.000+08:00

Cheers to RSSP and daryl's new mac!! (and to my new use of picasa? shhh.)

Nothing else will get us down..

Cos I've got YOU! my dear A levels....

2006-08-17T22:10:00.000+08:00

Something's happening I can feel it
Moving out of time you'll hear it
Falling in the way you fear it
Jumping thumping shout out something
- Radio, Robbie Williams

haha. i remember when i was a kid i used to think robbie wiliams and robin williams was the same person. funny. young cann...

mer ree chen joce and jang think i'm weird?! (ref to mer's blog)
all my life i've always thought i'm super 'the average girl' and yesterday for e 1st time they said that they thought i was REALLY wierd! chen even says i'm one of the weirDEST ppl she's ever met. come on la. They haven't met the rest of WU. now those are the real crazy peeps. I'm the MOST NORMAL among them oredi lorr...

and yes. the GP files are really VERY heavy!! after carrying them up to class from the locker room on tuesday, on wednesday my arms ached like u did 20 pull ups!! okok. I admit. I need more exercise. :(

phone bill has come in and i'm shocked at the bill for singapore idol voting. gosh never thought this day would come. i'm some singapore idol junkie lar. sheesh. there is something very wrong with singapore btw. either than or the income gap in the families of the contestants is very wide.

mer - some javelin thrower didn't quite offer to help LEH
vam - TADAH! :P

2006-08-14T15:39:00.000+08:00

Being the only child is scary ah.

I see how now as 'yi jiong' (some uncle) is in hospital and the whole family is there to support 'yi mah' (some auntie), I secretly (and maybe selfishly) wonder to myself whats going to happen when something happens to me?

Yes I've got friends who would probably visit me when I'm in hospital but its different from say having a sister la. (Of course at this point ya'll are probably all recollecting how your little sister stole your clip or your little brother stole your computer. )

Lucky for me... I've got fellow only-child cousin ms pak!

This is a screen shot off her blog. Says it all and its damn funny la. I'm all the family she's got! :P

We've not got a pact to take care of each other till we're old and frail. I promise to loose weight so she can carry me around ok! ;)

Family is cool la. Life is great.

2006-08-12T08:15:00.000+08:00

It seems, even after 3 days, that it is most fashionable to post pictures of this award winning class on your blog. So here you have it. The winners of the 2006 AJ Great Singapore Dress Up! (Fine it was just the guys but don't be selfish and claim all the glory la. Share share ma.)

Besides, the whole red tie thing was admittedly overdone in AJ la, but at least our WHOLE CLASS did it together. Not a single person was left out (well unless that person wasn't even currently in our class.) To top it all off, "class lunch" at NewYork NewYork! (Once again Chen looks funny in the photo. Why always her.) Though I'm not a fan of cotton candy, free cotton candy is such a treat! (Yes I'm Singaporean.)

See, we have our good times! So lets all be more harmonious and stop being mean ya! In the spirit of national day?

2006-08-10T09:39:00.000+08:00

TADAH!!!!

I feel like a freaking genius. :P Links are back on!

National Day is always good. No complains. Can't wait for it to come next year all over again!

2006-08-08T22:33:00.000+08:00

It used to feel like heaven used to feel like may
I used to hear those violins playing our strings like a symphony
now they've gone away nobody wants to face the truth
but you wont believe what love can do
till it happens to you

Aye. Then i'll never know! Yes... Ra is heartless and mean... said enough yet? MY FAULT. Always. :D

Yay. Many many days of holiday! Its so funny how now we're all looking forward to holidays not cos we get to go out and have a gd time but cos we have time to study! It wrecks out lives la these stupid exams. Yikes.

Very happy national day is here. No kidding ok. I really love my country. (Yes i realised i've said it before.) Though I hate the theme song mtv this year, I'm still very glad that all the 'Singapore has come a long way...' advertisments are all over TV.

Too sleepy these days. Body is a mere thud of fat moving from table to table as arms stretch out to search for pieces of notes. Pathetic. Happy belly go for jog with me please?

2006-08-07T00:50:00.000+08:00

They way the stars spread out, keep shinning in your name.

Ok over the weekend i've had an overdose of movies. Well, at least considering the whole "prelims soon" situation I'm in.

But... Click and Hard Candy are both worthy of your time so do go catch it!

Aye, too busy to blog. National Day is coming very happy! Just had to say that!

I love Singapore. Yay. Will get to see Hsien Long on TV on tuesday! Love his super-manly style of walking lar... The way he sways his hands... OH MAN.

2006-07-29T23:08:00.000+08:00

When I look at the stars, the stars I feel like myself.

Went to TPJCBand concert tonight. Chonghui's conducting is damn comic. He doesn't open his legs but he moves his upper body. So it super looks like he's dancing!!

Anyway... Looking at him as a student conductor reminded me of how much some things have changed since we all 1st met in Sec1. He for one was a puny little boy boy with the sleepy eyes. We all used to make fun with him and laugh at him. Look at him now standing in front of his band as the Student conductor.

He's just an example la. Everyone was made more a SOMEBODY cos of our 4 years.

If I had known yesterday would come eventually when I was in sec1, I would have been a very happy kid. :D

2006-07-28T23:24:00.000+08:00

This love has taken its toll on me...

Aye I wanna play and ice-cream bars and get paid ice-creams too. But all that'll have to wait. WAIT WAIT WAIT. Life... u're on hold. A levels... u're up next! (If this were a real audtion, come on, A levels wouldn't stand a chance.)

Hello yen yen. I miss u too!! Coffee?

Listened to one of my friends talk about her 1st love today. Its so sad that love has to restricted beacuse of what it has be defined as by man. Maybe love really can happen in more forms than what society deems acceptable. Who are we to judge. Has any of us really been in love at all? So yeah, it was really convicing. Yet, love doesn't prevail. Reality of life does.

Day out with darling Lynn tmr! Yay!

2006-07-26T21:47:00.000+08:00

I HATE BEING SICK.

Well when you're all pack with work and your day is packed to the brim... you just wanna throw it all aside and u hope to get an MC? THINK AGAIN!

Oh gosh... Its the whole recovery process that sucks la. If only the sickness could be turned on and off at the flick of a switch. I've been sleeping more than 30hours the last 2 days yet I don't seem to be getting any better. So much for "maybe if I get an MC i can do some work at home...". Stupid thought.

Well DXO gig went aye okay. As usual EL plauged with technical problems. No one to blame. Rather EVERYONE to blame ok? haha. Myself included. Stupid ra must learn to check with the band before giving the starting cue. But as she learns her lesson which will be stuck in her head forever, no more gigs for her! So lesson learnt in vain. Yikes.

Yay. National Day is coming. I love singing Majulah only on National Day. It makes me tear. No kidding. I love my country!

Hey Stupid!! :D yeee... stinky.

2006-07-21T22:05:00.000+08:00

She is the Prom Queen,
I'm in the marching band.

Biggie. Is being in a marching band THAT a loser thing? NOT AT ALL OKAY.

Excited? E!Loop plays at DXO tmr! 1st gig at a club la so a little whohaa. Charity OKAY.

PTM:

Seng complained to mum today that I was 'looking tired in class' and she decided to tell him it was cos I was preparing for the gig. Truth is, I don't understand his tutorials at all! He's lessons are as disorganised as my essays! Thats why... FAIL! Facts flying from one corner of the classroom to the other in random directions. Why why.... (ok shall not whine anymore. teachers read our blogs.)

Mum is very happy after mdm woon's wonderful reports about me. Bahaha. Sweet.

I think the teachers think I am more hardworking than I really am. No complains la but I'll just have to live up to their expectations then lo. If not damn sad rite. Seng said that he and daljit concluded that 'sarah is hardworking. but results don't show leh?' OMG. Thats damn sad la. AJ mugger. :( NOOOOOO!!!!

Everyone seems to be down and depressed. Or do I just have that effect on ppl. Cheer up friends! Tmr will be better! Shadows prove theres sunshine! Sunshine coming up! :D

I just wanna plunge into a chair and watch movies all day. Guilt-free. Problem is the thought of '6weeks left' freaks me out. I can't even have a meal in peace. But yes. This should be the way.

2006-07-16T21:48:00.000+08:00

My Grandma is the cutest.

Last week during my bday celebration thing at her house, my auntie came up to me and told me 'eh she asked me if u have an indian boyfriend'. OMG.

My stupid cousins have somehow (shall not be racist here...) come up with a theory that I'm going to marry an idian guy in my life. So they tease me each time they see me asking me 'eh so hows your indian boyfriend?'

Then my poor grandma who doesn't quite understand english really believes I have one!! And today she told me that she's seen me with an idian guy before!! OH NO!

Not only is she imagining that I've got a boyfriend, she sees me around with indian men? gosh.

Annoucenment:
Jonathan Leong fans please rise up! I've got tics to give away to anyone who supports him!
(i know i sound like a boy crazy sec sch girl... but I'm just doing my duty as a family friend la okay.. Besides i think he's really not bad.)

2006-07-16T11:23:00.000+08:00

Ain't this quite a cool sketch. Its from OTH! haha. Just have to post something visual on my blog la. Haha.. if not looks damn boring. Hope ya'll like the new skin?

Aye all! Its been such a hectic week I don't know where to begin blogging about! So I shan't attempt to put in words what a good week it was la..

1st up thank you all for making my bday week so special this year! (JS and band friends, Grandma and family, RSSP and Harry, Cool Gang, AJCSB peeos, WU, Eve and Ernest, Uncle Andrew and Yap family and many many more!!)
I really felt very very loved and enjoyed myself very much!

I've really never eaten so much cake in my entire life in one week la!! I seriously had a cake to eat every single day even up till this morning!! Its crazy man!! So thanks for fattening me up ya everyone?! haha...

I've got photos that I wanna put up but I 1st need to learn how to work the bluetooth device thing that I bought from Van but haven't paid for. :P

Oh no... there is some rumble in my tummy... I think the cake that I ate this morning is a little spoilt.. haha.. still it was quite yummy.

One thing to note!! (i'm not being ungrateful or anything la...) Ra doesn't quite like chocolate. Keep that thought in mind till next year ok? haha.. sorry la. Just helping ya'll narrow down the choice of cake ma.

I'll try to post more regularly la. :)

Whatever will be will be.

2006-07-11T18:35:00.001+08:00

Can't believe we're already in the 3rd week of term 3. Can die. U know how teachers and students are so convinced (esp in J2) that in a year, term 4 doesn't exist. "Its 8 weeks to prelims!" we all exclaim like its the end of the world, when actually there is the whole of term 4 b4 the A levels start! Gosh.

History is gonna die. Presentation tmr is so HUR?! And we're dunno where in finishing the syllabus. Totally 'dunno where' la cos I don't even know how much more we've got to go.

Anyway, tmr is supposed to be a happy day. Of course it'll be! Its quite something la... I mean some ppl haven't even lived this long eh? So at least pat me on the back for surviving life thus far and shake my hand and wish me the best of luck for more to come ok?

So what if Italy won the World Cup. Everyone goes "What did Zidane do that?!". Poor things. And they did it for all that glory.

Aye. Feel damn guilty lar. Its all your fault I swear. Very wrong meh? :(

When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what would I be.... Que Sera Sera.

Whatever will be will be.

2006-07-11T18:35:00.000+08:00

2006-07-08T13:14:00.000+08:00

"Why the world doesn't need superman."

Warning: Don't read if you intend to watch the movie. I think the movie isn't as bad as some of my friends have told me. Its quite worth the watch la. But as always. Watch on a weekday please.

(Writting this in hope that Superman becomes sad and then comes to look for me when he returns and...... BLAH. SHHH about who MY superman is la!!)

Superman is flawed. If superman were so super, he wouldn't love. Love made him sad. How can superman feel defeated or disappointed?! He's supposed to be SUPERman! Instead of filling his head with thoughts and strategies about who he's gonna save next and how he's gonna do it, he's preoccupied with ensuring that dear loius lane is safe and that his hair is perfectly in place when he rescues her. Superman is supposed to be the saviour of the world. How can he be so when is distracted by a woman?!

Yes superman is after a superMAN and boohoo that 'you'll never be one of them'. Get that in your head superman! You'll NEVER be one of us so stop trying so hard dude! I honestly think he's being quite a bastard in trying to steal someone else's wife and acting all innocent about it. Yes he rescued this and that person, but he caused hurt and confusion to ONE girl whom he supposedly cared MOST for? Besides, he's breaking many hearts if u'd ask me. (rite jiashin?!)

Poor Superman. The movie is titled after him but the glory is stolen by Richard. Isn't Richard just everything a girl could want in a guy? (Okay the 1st thought that came to my mind was that he's rich. But I shall try not to appear materialistic.) Only the love that he showed to Loius was truly unfailing and only he could be the one that was there for Loius. Ok now. I shall give some credit to Superman for his noble attempt to leave her alone in her worldin resignation to their fate.

On the other hand, "I'll always be around" just take away all that I tried to praise him about la. Damn just go away will u. The world doesn't need Superman!!

2006-07-06T21:50:00.000+08:00

Just look at me, Silly Me,
I'm as happy as can be-
I got a girl who thinks I rock.
And tomorrow there's no school,
So lets go drink some more Red Bull,
And not get home 'till about six o'clock

When I'm dancing with you
Tomorrow doesn't matter.
Turn that music up
'Till the windows start to shatter
'Cause you're the only one who can get me on my feet.
And I can't even dance.
- Orson, No Tomorrow

damn hooked onto this song. its so feel good!!

And yes... I really cannot dance. Its damn sad when vox teacher has to teach me how to 'walk with groove' as she calls it.

Maybe I just don't know well enough. I think there is probably so much more out there that I'm supposed to know before I can handle whatever comes at me. We've just got to stop thinking we know it all and we've been there and done it. Cos sometimes, the unexpected just HITS YOU. And when it does it really can hurt.

2006-07-05T21:44:00.000+08:00

The more I question, the more I know. The more I know, the more comlicated things become. The more complicated things become, the more questions I have.

9 weeks to prelims! (ok maybe its exclamations like that that Van say's I blog like a 'sciencer'? not that I think being a sciencer is a bad thing at all la... )

Point is... gotta start studying all over again. Its been a week after CTs and I haven't touched books!! (Oh no... Its starting to sound quite bad I must admit. ) After having lost bets to harry and mark on our results,(I suppse I'm going to loose lar.. ) I surely am not going to loose during prelims!!

AYE. So boring. I keep blogging bout sch and studies all the time. (YES major complaint of WU)

But then... other than sch stuff which is public domain anyway, everything else is private la! So maybe it isn't that my life is THAT uninteresting... just that I don't happen to like to share details of certain things all over.

OH WELL. Here here. Major announcement. Van harry mark and I have planned out our whole lives!! We are going to be owners of a major successful cafe!! (actually I hope that it will expand into some business empire but i doubt RSSP will be thrilled at the idea :P) The big business venture will include a sheep farm, the wonderful cafe and hopefull a shopping centre! Sounds good?

Despite how horribly my day went... I'm still able to keep a smile right till the end. :) I hope France wins tonite!

2006-07-03T18:40:00.000+08:00

Well they won! (Sorry not to England and Brazil) But my favourite team TKBand. :)

And they lost (Yes now its your turn Beckham and Ronaldo). Poor things.. they're on the roll call of losers? Aww..

And I? I don't even know who I bet on that night cos someone bet on my behalf and I can't seem to get him. ARGH. Let's all pray for ra now.

(and at this very moment I'm proud to annouce as I have just recieved news....) YAY!! I won $20!! No credit to me but to a certain "father" from famine camp. Woahoo... Very honest man indeed. Could have run of with my winnings and claim he never bought for me.

So schs gonns REALLY start only tmr and I've got about 4 compos, 2 compres for GP, 3 essays for hist, 2 tutorials for maths and a econs time trial to do. Not too much I suppose. I'll finish it by dinnertime tonite! No sweat! :D (harry's masterplan was to do it over the 5day holiday that we had... yeah rite dude.)

yup you're right. i did. but its all just a big mistake right? no hard feelings. :)

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
- All American Rejects, Move Along

2006-06-30T23:54:00.000+08:00

Its amazing how face blotting has given me the best laugh in a long time. How silly. Cheers to more of such funny moments in our lives RSSP! :D

Alamak.. Bugis shopping seems to have lost its charm. Things aren't that nice and aren't that cheap! Boohoo.. Can't wait to go to bangkok again lar.

Jam was not so bad today la. At least we went it more or less prepared. Hope we end EL with a bang on 22nd july. HOPE.

Ronin won't do Dream On cos as someone says 'They think they are big fucks la'. Gosh. I so can't stand them ah. Sorry yes they're big and they're not bad and all. But I'm just not one to tolerate nonsensical people.

Band comp tmr! Anoneh Pakukeh!! TK TK Okay!!

2006-06-30T14:30:00.000+08:00

I'm a Robot

You are 57% Rational, 28% Extroverted, 42% Brutal, and 42% Arrogant.
You are the Robot! You are characterized by your rationality. In fact, this is really ALL you are characterized by. Like a cold, heartless machine, you are so logical and unemotional that you scarcely seem human. For instance, you are very humble and don't bother thinking of your own interests, you are very gentle and lack emotion, and you are also very introverted and introspective. You may have noticed that these traits are just as applicable to your laptop as they are to a human being. You are not like the robots they show in the movies. Movie robots are make-believe, because they always get all personable and likeable after being struck by lightning, or they are cold, cruel killing machines. In all reality, though, you are much more boring than all that. Real robots just sit there, doing their stupid jobs, and doing little else. If you get struck by lightning, you won't develop a winning personality and heart of gold. (Robots don't have hearts, silly, and if they did, they would probably be made of steel, not gold.) You also won't be likely to terrorize humanity by becoming an ultra-violent killing machine sent into the past to kill the mother of a child who will lead a rebellion against machines, because that movie was dumb as hell, and because real robots don't kill--they horribly maim at best, and they don't even do that on purpose. Real robots are boringly kind and all too rarely try to kill people. In all my years, my laptop has only attacked me once, and that was only because my brother threw it at me. In short, your personality defect is that you don't really HAVE a personality. You are one of those annoying, super-logical people that never gets upset or flustered. Unless, of course, you short circuit. Or if someone throws a pie at you. Pies sure are delicious.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Class Clown.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Emo Kid, and the Haughty Intellectual.

2006-06-28T21:33:00.000+08:00

Hey all!

Big appeal here! Please do check out this site ya! (http://youngntuc.org.sg/dreamon/)

Dream On is this project that includes a gig at DXO on the 22nd and a CD (woahoo our 1st CD!!) aimed at raising fund's for the school pocket money fund. What I find special about it is that the whole thing is initiated and organized by a group of students from various JCs and they're intending to sell 1550 copies of the CD. I think its really great so check it out ya!

You could prob get info bout it on the website but personally, I feel that for one we should support the charity that this is gonna benefit and also support the people that have been organising this thing. It must be really quite tough to get such a thing going while handling JC and A levels and all but these ppl are willing to sacrifice so much of their time for their dream.

Yes I know 'why' can be downloaded FREE on our site but its more than the songs and the music la. Besides this is EL's last project (aiyah everytime oso say last... but dunno how much longer we can stand each other guts really) so please buy the CD and come to the gig? (special invitation to RSSP!! YES I invited YOU OK?) :D

CD + Tic to gig = $15only! What a steal! Please email me or drop a tag if you're interested. Please also help me spread the word! Thanks a lot peeps!

2006-06-26T16:33:00.000+08:00

CTs are here!! ARGH.

I'm so sleepy larr!! Whats wrong with me... I came home today after GP and slept. Learnt how to sketch curves... and slept again. DIEE RA. Need to go through hist tutorials right now but here I am banging away. NOT TODAY. Why does crazy brain wander of TODAY.

"Ok my plan is to get full marks for statistics for this test. Must help me k? Ok. Now teach me how to read the normal table can?" - Retard.

Sorry if the picture of vaness wu is irking ya'll. Its just there to prove a point. I really don't have a thing for him thanks.

2006-06-22T10:53:00.000+08:00

Beautiful aren't they? (Come on... I intend for ur response to be a rousing YESS)

Single Eyelids are on the rise!!! WOAHOO!!

Yup yup.. there is no need to be sad that we single eyelid ppl are the minority. That's what makes us special!! The day is emerging where everyone wants single eyelids too! To hell with double eyelid surgery!! Soon everyone is gonna pull down their double eyelids to look like their favourite asian stars!

Wishful thinking... ARGH...

2006-06-18T21:51:00.000+08:00

30hour famine over.

3rd week of hols over. Time for serious business ra.

30hour famine was about the standard that I imagined. It was generally bearable just that there was a lot of time to do nothing. I guess its just difficult to handle a camp size of 700ppl. So today after our newspaper collection at Tampines we sat around and waiting to break fast from about 4 to 6.30. My group was quite funny with their obsession with UNO. Maybe thats what we can do for poor ppl. Give them a pack of UNO cards. Maybe they'd be put out of their misery too!

At night on the 1st day there was the debate between some of the campers (who probably came to camp not knowing shit bout what activities were planned), other campers (who probably did) and the oragnisers. This girl was quite pissed cos she felt that the camp was a disappointment as we weren't really doing anything that really meant anything for lets say a poor little boy in Vietnam. Its true cos most of the camp is some simulation of hunger and poverty and all the emotions felt and the other health consequences that come with it. However, the camp wasn't really about the 700 campers making a difference. So what if we understand poverty better now? It doesn't help eliminate poverty. The point of the camp was to make us open our eyes to see the world around us. To see and experience(for 30 hours) the suffering that people around the world and even in our region go through. All this is in hope that we are inspired and one day we will really do something that makes a difference.

I guess it did meet its objective. I for one am rather inspired to go build a house for someone in my lifetime.

This whole holidays I seem to be learning a lot about the poor and education and BAH. Well well... Aren't I lucky that ALL I have to wake up and worry about tmr morn is what I'm gonna study for CTs?

2006-06-12T22:40:00.000+08:00

Just when I thought the blogging craze was over. Damn it isn't.

Not much has changed since the last time I blogged. I guess thats cos most of my time was spent at SMUN. Since it was a MODEL conference, we didn't acheive anything at all!

But hey hey, honestly I don't think SMUN was that bad at all la. Universal primary education.... TO HELL WITH IT FROM NOW ON! I don't mean to sound heartless. But its true that the whole altruistic thing is so bullshit. Yes I believe in human compassion and moral responsibility and all. But when it comes to politics and economics, millions and millions of dollars is just more than human compassion can handle!

Yeah, like starving oursleves for 30 hours will make a big difference in the world? HEY! Not the issue for discussion now. I'm going for the famine thing this weekend. Yes it will be meaningful BAH.

Hall life seems totally promising now that I am assured the toilet and bathing facilities are decent. Showering without have to stand in line, with many many hooks to hook my clothes and towels and all and hot water! Nothing like school showers I tell you. I think the door keys are rather cool to. Though having to press it each time I run in and out is quite a hassle. (This sounds quite bimbo but I miss the 'beep' sound the sensor makes!!) Food at Eusoff Hall is trashy man. But I guess its ok when you have the best canteen 5 mins away. :) Arts canteen!

(just at this instant....)

OMG THERE IS A RAT IN MY HOUSE!! 3 of us were frantically screaming our heads off ah. I'm not walking on the ground tonight. The rat is HUGE la. It looks like a freaking kitten. Its black and dirty and EWWW. I've named in Mickey. :) We're trapping Mickey in the kitching tonight and we'll catch him tmr morning!

Ok. Damn rat has ruined my plan to write a long long entry. Mission abandoned. How am I to sleep in peace tonite!

Skinny Singapore

2006-05-29T02:54:00.000+08:00

Random Rants

Man i'm up at 3am... Doing GP outlines.. thrilling..

Is it just singapore or is the universal standards of acceptance for girls so skinny? I look around and look on TV and see all the tiny little girls. I guess thats just the way it is.

Woahoo! Got stage passes to Singapore Idol on Thursday!! Though I'm not sure what a stage pass entitles me to do but.. Quite exciting... All the contestants this year are so young. Watching them bitch about each other is so excruciating. Girls are so so bitchy. The saddest part is that there are more of such ppl than those who aren't like them.

Met up with CY for a little little while today cos i was at TM. Damn I thought there were going to be sales like in town. WRONG. Maybe thats why heartland malls differ. I still love them btw. I have a phobia of "TOWN".

RSSP programme starting soon... anticipating... yet... not sure how its gonna be man... studying and all... it cannot fail!!

Going to People's Park next week with grandma cos she tells me its the hippest place ever since its been renovated. Hmm.. I have my doubts but I'll go with her cos i know she just wants to go.

I'm taking up a job offer to be a camp instructor for some children's music camp. God knows me a children don't exactly go... But i'll try.. I'm assuming the job pays.

Events over the week have clarified some issues in my head. I'm glad for insights by some unmentionable person. It really woke me out of my daze and now I understand.

Band concert coming. Band practices have ended. I guess its okay... Glad that at least towards the end the band peeps got to know each other a little better. Though we aren't exactly the best of friends currently, but at least I know how many siblings they each have. Thats the way it is la. In JC, I think its even rare to know that much about a person.

2006-05-28T23:37:00.000+08:00

ADVERTISMENT

AJCSB Presents...
SpritantoX - The Odessey
30th May VCH 7.30pm $10
Repertoire: Orient Express, Noah's Ark, Autumn Soliloquy (Oboe solo), Rhapsody for Euphonium (Eupho solo DUH) and more!
Drop me a msg on the tag or email at singmylifeaway@gmail.com

2006-05-21T11:24:00.000+08:00

I love One Tree Hill!! I can't believe ppl actually have forums on TV shows la.. But really.. here's why...

Some Quotes!!!

"Yes, losing your heart's desire is tragic... but gaining your heart's desire... it's all you can hope for. This year, I wished for love. To immerse myself in someone else and to wake a heart long afraid to feel. My wish was granted... and if having that is tragic, then give me tragedy. Because I wouldn't give it back for the world. "
- Peyton (my fav girl btw) :)

"Do not look back at grief over the past for it is gone and do not be troubled about the future for it is yet to come. Live in the present and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering."
- Lucas (chad micheal murray so hot!!)

Looking back on what I said, all the hopes and dreams I had, I've come to the conclusion that if having things turn out the way you wanted them to is the measure of a successful life, then some would say that I'm a failure.
The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past. And recognize that every day won't be sunny, and when you find yourself lost in the darkness and despair remember it's only in the black of night you see the stars. And those stars will lead you back home.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. To stumble and fall. Because most of the time, the greatest reward is doing things that scare us. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for. Maybe you'll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination.
- Whitey (old men are quite cute... )

Pictures another day.. when my internet connection a little more stable. ARGH

2006-05-21T10:23:00.000+08:00

Ashley's bday wish seems to have lasted more than a week. OK. enough of her bday wish. Get on with life...

There have been so many incidents in the week where i go "oh oh.. shall blog about this.. " in my mind. But there is just no time to blog la. Either that or when i do try to post an entry(which i did!), the damned computer fails me and it just disappears into thin air.

So its another week past eh. One more week to hols! Great!

"I woke up today a song was swimming in my head
And I hummed it to myself as I got out of bed
And on the way to take a shower it all just dawned on me
That a song like this just might go down in history
I quickly ran back to get my guitar
A pen and some paper

'Cause this whole world needs an Anthem
And I'm trying to put the words where they belong
Yeah this whole world needs an Anthem
And I'm hoping everyone will sing along"
- Phantom Planet, Anthem

Yup... Come on world, sing along with me. Yay. Phantom Planet.

2006-05-12T00:50:00.000+08:00

"Cause it's you and me
and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove A
nd it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off you "
- You and Me, Lifehouse

So that's how its gonna be.

Btw.. HAPPY BDAY ASH!!
U have no idea how 'kang kor' it is resisting sending u a happy bday msg!! All our stupid plan to make u super sad and super happy on your bday! Hope u had a gd one! :D

missing man2

2006-05-10T05:19:00.000+08:00

Ok. So heres the story on the missing uncle. I just need to report it for the reporting sake cos if not some ppl out there might be wondering...

ARGH. Stupid man decided to go somewhere else other than where he hold everyone he was going to. And then his hp went outta batt. So all of them (them not US cos i really am numb to missing ppl) started getting all frantic cos he was no where to be found and couldn't be contacted. Mum even rushed down in a cab to his office to look for him lar. Very dumb yes.
Anyway we get dinner treat from that! For all that anxiety.. Gosh..

I gotta start writtin in shorter sentences. Cambridge likes clear and concise. Pressently, I write in long sentences. Miss Daljit doesn't understand them. Therefore I get very very bad fod GP. But I want to get good marks for GP. Hence, I gotta start writting in shorter sentences.

See! Just add in all the little connectives and I'm on my way to an A1! Now how hard was that? :D

2006-05-08T21:56:00.000+08:00

Here's to all the sports ppl! 3 Cheers!

I've got to admit. Being a member of a performing arts group and a non-sports person, watching sports really inspires me sometimes. All that sweat and tears that go into it is really physical testimony of the effort every sports person puts in.

I think no matter how many SYFs we go through, we'd never go through and never have to endure as much as most of u guys do. Its not that we don't care as much, we do! Just that maybe playing an 8min piece doesn't take the same amount of physical effort and mental strength.

My family seems to have a fettish for going missing... Tonight uncle can't be found and the whole family is mobilised to search for him. Gosh. Will be back tmr to report the news story! Hoefully it ain't too sad or too dreadful...

GE2006

2006-05-07T09:47:00.000+08:00

Goddie, I wake up to the sounds of PAP's truckload of minsters blasting "Thank You for Making PAP party of Marine Parade!!!"

Oh goodness.. what a triumphant victory it was indeed. With ALL THAT COMPETITION in our GRC yeah? (No... we weren't contested!!) I guess since every other MP is doing it, we've gotta do it too!

So what if there was opposition contesting in Marine Parade, I'd probably wake up this morning to the same message (and see Mr Goh Chock Tong waving happily... what a dear).

Don't get me wrong man... I ain't one of those political cynics we see on the TV forum who blame MM Lee for the lack of opposition. I say its that we have damn lousy opposition. They should really stop lamenting about the lack of talent for the opposition after the PAP grabs all the goodies man. What kinda argument is that! So they expect the PAP to cut the opposition some slack to give them some allowance to shine? Hello?! Those kids on TV really make fools outta my generation. Disgrace! Journalists my ass ah...

I just don't understand. Yes we need to have a choice in the elections. But there are 30+% ppl on the average that seem to be making the obvious wrong ones! I was watching in horror last night as the election results were being annouced. 30% ain't a small number man! And in Aljunied for example, the winning margin for PAP was so little! What if the WP had won? James Gomez would be elected as an MP u know!! Are they nuts?! He'd probably 'forget' to ever go to any of your meet-the-MPs -sessions! 'Oh.. too tied up with the duties of being an MP ah' -_-" Just as he was too messed up with the nomination process rite..

Of course then there are those PAP candidates that are an utter disgrace to the ruling party la. The guy that lost at Hougang, Eric Low, said in response to what he was going to do even though he wasn't elected but in the advisory board for the constituency, "Er the adrenaline of the past few days has yet to tide over ah.. so i cannot think of what to do.." OMG. Uncle! Please wake up and listen to yourself. You've just let your own party down by not winning and u still got the cheek to say u don't know what to do?! Been high on drugs the past few days or something?

Yay! Pop the champagne! Cos PAP is still rulling! Opposition supporters be happy too! We have a multi-party parliment! So everyone goes home happy! :D

2006-04-30T13:16:00.000+08:00

"At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just not facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world, six billion souls. And sometimes... all you need is one. "
- Peyton, One Tree Hill

2006-04-30T10:09:00.000+08:00

Woahoo. Decided. Vespa is my dream at the age of 17. There is a reason why it'll forever remain only a dream. Mahmee would never ever let me!! I'm not one of those who learn and buy a bike behind her back so. Dreaming on....

Well of course if anyone buys me one, lets say for my bday, thats a diff deal la! Sadly no rich friends. Therefore, no vespa.

ARGH. I still haven't got down to learning photography and photo editing bah!! At least 4 people have said 'yes' when I asked them to teach me lar... But I prob won't ever get any of them to teach me. Any volunteers?

Finally satisfied my urge to watch The Lion King last night. I just couldn't take it anymore so I stomped down to Video EZ and rented it for $5. Freakin rip-off rite?! Well well.. I'm a video EZ member now!! I say it like its a big deal when its free.

The Lion King is so awesome!! But the one I rented was some special edition version with an added song which spoiled my whole experience!! The added song is really crappy. I've watched the show on tape so many times that I can remember 3/4 of the lines la. Its prob one of the cartoons that I actually can laugh out loud even when I'm watching it alone! (My auntie always complains that I am very unfeeling when it comes to movies cos when I watch with her I just cross my arms in my seat and stare straight through the show while she grabs me ocassionally and literally shakes me when its super funny.)

"I've got a loveelee bunch of coconuts didleedidi, there they are standing in a row dumpty dumpty dumpty.. Big ones small ones, some as big as your head... "

Was supposed to go to church and the AJ dance concert yesterday but got a fever in the morning so spent the rest of the day at home. It sucks being sick. Plans are ruined, $12 wasted. I can't even be bothered to take my temperature lar. Just drowning myself in cups and cups of water and endless dosages of panadol extra!

Its amazing what goes through your mind when you lie in bed with a fever and you can't sleep. I was thinking of what to do if I was having a fever cos I was terminally ill and going to die. Not in a morbid sense but just what I was going to write to various ppl maybe. But it seems I'm still very much alive so... Great!

AJCSB is playing at the Istana tmr so if you're really bored u might wanna consider popping by. 11am. Also tix to our concert has started selling so leave a note if you're interested :D

2006-04-27T23:06:00.000+08:00

Reading my own testimonials (fine i really should be doing my econs tutorial) ..

Miss them loads...

Batch'04 TkBand - 4years... Wish it lasted forever... It was so simple back then. Seems like BDB was the only thing that mattered to us.
TkBand Tpts - Blasting away, marine drive view talks...
Wasabi United - Buffets, Miss Manager and the heros WU! Kbox, Stayovers...
Yen Chang Hui - Singing songs, composing drum solos, coming up with nonsensical theories about life and the world, listening to diki sing and tara and krys talk so loud.
Grace and church - Where i used to feel at home...
TPJC Ttps - Feline flicking my fats, Lynn's vanilla smell and her pink converse shoes...
TPJC 1st3mnths class - The whole family thing..
TNS peeps jy,yen,cy,pl,vern - Hmm.. all the vices ah. Drinking, slacking ETC

So nostalgic... ARGH. Won't I ever have that feeling again?

2006-04-27T22:08:00.000+08:00

The Simple Life. Ahh...

"It ain't an ending lar. Its a new beginning." So cliche yet I couldn't even figure that out on my own.

Don't worry ra. No more EL but still many things to come! Church band maybe? :P

Going back... I wouldn't wanna say I'm retreating... Though thats how I really feel...

But at least we know out limits la. We won't play on for no one to hear. But one day we'd play and everyone will listen. But till then...

ELooper no more.

2006-04-26T23:05:00.000+08:00

Rushed home from GP yesterday to tuition.. Took a cab.. And had a long chat with mr taxi man..

The conversation started off because he saw that I was in JC uniform so he asked me which school I was from. Then he continued on to tell me about how his daughter was in J1 this year and how she wasn't able to cope with the change in evironment and all. He told me that his girl wasn't the sociable type and he'd been urging her to go out with her peers instead of staying at home all the time.

Urging his kid to go out?! Thats like a freakin dream come true for some of us hello! But its true that there are such people. And his daughter was one of those that found difficulty in making friends and all. For all u know, ppl at school might have found her a weirdo, but back home, she had a father that really loved her and was concerned about her lack of friends. It was really touching to hear from mr taximan about how much he wanted the best for his daughter.

Apparently Mr Taximan's kids are all smarties. The eldest is in TJ and the 2nd is in RGS. He didn't tell it to me like he was bragging, though I guess he must feel quite proud to have raised and taught his children well. He told me that his eldest daughter had been schooling on scholarships and she wants to become a doctor like his own elder brother. It was quite sad when he said "But I'm only a Taxi driver how to pay for her school? Some more doctor must study so long!" On one hand he understood that his daughter was working her butt of to better her own life but on the other hand he probably felt inadequate cos he would have such difficulty in helping her achieve her dream.

He had this masterplan to migrate to Australia cos he found a job as a truck driver there that paid more than what he was earning currently and he considered that his daughter would be able to take a shorter route to becoming a doctor. I wonder if he's daughter knew about his plans. I wonder if my parents ever have such plans. Maybe parents are afterall that sacrificial.

"My 2nd daughter very naughty ah. Everytime say she get this points for her exam then I must buy for her this. But its so difficult to earn money u know. They just don't know." Sounds familiar? But somehow coming from another parent's mouth it just sounds different. Maybe most of our parent's situations aren't as bad as his but it is probably true that we don't know how hard they work to earn money.

Its all about perspective la. I should just step out of my own shoes when I'm down. Look at it from a different angle and maybe things might not be that bad.

New perspectives.. My PW question -_-". Watching band comp on the grandstand instead of being on the field... watching people competing in AJ idol... It all looks different now. The winds have changed.

2006-04-23T15:51:00.000+08:00

"There was never any place
For someone like me
To be totally happy
I'm running out of clock
And that ain't a shock
Some things never do change
Never do change "
- Cavanaugh Park, Something Corporate

I feel so out of place. Every place I am.
"Jump down to somewhere I belong". I'm sure thats how they felt.

I thought maybe since I was so different now, things would change. But no. Never do change. I'm still that girl I was....

2006-04-20T22:31:00.000+08:00

I am 17 going on 18.

I'm a boat in the middle of the big big ocean. Rowing around, testing waters and sea conditions. At first it was quite exciting, being released from the dock where I came from. However the novelty faded off too soon.

Still rowing around, I've decided that I've had my fair share of exploring already. I just want to sail towards the dock. I just need to know which dock I am heading for and I need to know which direction to navigate towards.

Its alrite if I take a few more years before I reach the dock. At least I'd be heading somewhere.

2006-04-15T22:08:00.000+08:00

"Hey girl I wanna catch you wave!!!"
- The Click Five and the entire indoor stadium!

Woahooo! Awesome!! The Click Five is damn fun la. They just ain't the normal angsty rock band that we get so much of now adays. They can put sad things to u in the happiest music la. Er.. not true.. but...

Dar amos and wil are glad to know that u all are each better players at ur respective instruments that the members of The Click Five.

There was this part where the lead singer got each person to solo (brings back memories) and each of them were so freaking noob!! But its amazing how they sound so good once they play together. Maybe music students are just different la ah. Harry I'm sorry but we both get trashed in keys and singing. Those are the 2 best things the band does la. Each of them sing so well and harmoize damn nicely even whiile playing ah.

Band comp is next week. Man time flies. Looking at all the piggish looking photos, I can't believe that we celebrated victory at sentosa of the last comp almost 2 years ago. Hope TKBand pulls through once again! Ok.. not just pulls through but TRASHES competition FLAT!! Hope... hope.. hope... hope.. hope..

2006-04-15T13:58:00.000+08:00

I need some sleep
You can't go on like this
I'd tried counting sheep
But there's one I always miss

Everyone says
I’m getting down too low
Everyone says
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
- Need Some Sleep, Eels

Whenever one door closes I know one will open...
Till I find my way home to you...

I feel like a little kid. A young rebelious kid. Who wandered away from home because she thought she was all grown up abnd could take care of herself. And on her time away from home, she experienced so much. She fell down, got a scar, learnt to act tough and survive on the street and even made some money for herself. But then one day she realised that she needed to go home.. because everyone needs a home..

Till I find my way home to you...

2006-04-14T22:39:00.000+08:00

OMG. How come no one wants to go watch click five?! I can't believe it.. anyway.. if anyone does just drop me a msg by tonite on the tag board. Hollaback crew finals.. hanyuan got many many tix for me and the grp of ppl who all backed out!! Feel damn bad..

Also through this I realised how many ppl sacrifice such opportunities to study for upcoming tests and do homework. Man.. thats something I need to pick up.

But super excited!! I love them!!

Good friday was quite... GOOD. Though I just realise it had nothing to do with... God?

Had a semi-WU+Guanwei Klunch session toady. Quite fun! The ghostly MTV is sooo freaky la!! I've been thinking bout the song the whole day. Ashley is super addicted to Mcfries now la, dunno whats wrong with her. Shall just buy that for her bday. :D

Got my Zen Micro replaced!! Yay!! And bought a leather cover for it too! Finally a Zen accessory. I'm so jealous of all the ipod socks and skins and covers and what nots. Still... I say again to those who haven't already heard: DO NOT BUY CREATIVE STUFF.

Was supposed to go to Van's house but had "family" dinner. Prob was the worst part of the day... Just heck it.

2006-04-11T22:34:00.000+08:00

"Maybe I'm a girl and maybe I'm a lonely girl
who's in the middle of something
that she doesn't really understand

Maybe I'm a girl and maybe you're the only man
who could ever help me
Baby, won't you help me understand"

- Maybe I'm Amazed, Jem

Its amazing. And I haven't even spoken to you.

2006-04-11T22:16:00.000+08:00

In a day....

I heard the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia... I got a call from Keith in Australia... I saw Goh Chock Tong SM of Singapore... Saw the dance from India.. Drooled at food from Malaysia..

I've been to paradise but I've never been to me.

The whole Saudi Arabian Prince lecture thing was a total rip off my time. (I don't mean to start any war or anything...) But seriously, the whole thing 'lecture' lasted about 20min and most of the time was in Arab anyway! I only understood the half of the 10min which was translated in English!

But of course.. experience rite...

Was super down today cos I failed a math test. And at the end of the day, when I went for tuition, the tutor presented me a set of questions with the exact same questions as the ones from the test. FATE sia.

Got my assignments for the SMUN (Singapore Model United Nations Conference) thing today too. I'm representing the USA in UNESCO and Harry is South Africa. Muahaha.

2006-04-06T20:45:00.000+08:00

Was late for vocal lessons due to the rain (actually it was cos I was taking my time outa the house SHH). But teacher was nice enough to agree to give me back my 15min worth next week. Lesson was better today... the awkwardness kinda fading off finally. Maybe she doesn't hate me afterall. :D

Had to take the MRT down to Kembangan to meet uncle. On the way I recieved a phonecall:

"hallo is this ms sarah yap?"
"yes"
"where are u ah?!"
"errrr... "

I dropped my wallet unknowingly on the platform at DBG la!! How tut can one get?! Anyway, though I must proclaim that I am utterly grateful to the person who brought it to the control staion and to the efficient staff who called me even b4 i realised I had lost my wallet, I was made to do a freaking survey on station service while the staff was staring as I wrote!! He said 'err. go on ah.. please write how u feel, what happened, what we did etc. '

So now if DBG wins some 'best mrt service staff award' they know who to thank. But I count myself super lucky!

Then while picking mum up at her sch (a convant sch), I saw some nuns and the though suddenly became super appealing to me! Why not become a nun and some of ur problems just fade away instantly! It felt like some kinda enlightenment until....

Being a nun is freaking communist la!!! They pool all their earnings together and redistribute it amongst all the nuns all over again. So even I was the dumbest laziest nun, I'd still be earning the same as the head nun! No offence.. just that.. maybe I'm not cut out to be a nun ok?

My mum is going for hiphop dance lessons. Beat that. Come on la... go learn cha cha cha or ballroom dancing!! SHH. I'm a supportive little daughter who will (hide herself in some arabic costume) attend any of her performances in future.

Green

2006-04-06T15:25:00.000+08:00

Woahoo green looks super nice on the black!

Aye Okay

2006-04-04T17:07:00.000+08:00

'I can't take my mind of you' -
Damien Rice, The Blower's Daughter

Absolutely nice song.

Well. Feel like life is kinda on a downward spiral. Each day things don't exactly turn out the way I want. Maybe its the choices that I've made. But no regrets!

But no, I'm not gonna just be one who sulks about how sad life is and how i wish this and that..
Things will get better. I'll make it better :D Man I love my optimism.

alls fine with rara.

2006-04-03T20:47:00.000+08:00

Maid gettin scolded in the background for mistaking beef tenderloin for beef tendon.

Maybe things would have turned out differently if not for 11 years ago this day.

I would be a different person, living in a different house, living with different people, wearing different clothes, playing different instruments, saying different things, making different jokes (probably better ones)....

With each passing year the memories seem more and more distant. That time of my life seems almost non-existent now. But its still there..

I'm not sad. Nor am I feeling particularly joyous today la. Its quite a numb feeling. Remembering the shock, the pain and the uncertainty that was heading our way..

What doesn't break me only makes me stronger. Maybe it was this that made me so strong, so unbreakable. Oh well..

I'll do well. I'll show u. I'll make u proud. I wish I knew u a little more..

The Weekend

2006-04-02T09:22:00.000+08:00

Quotes from last nights dinner...

"I want to borrow JitRui's brother home to play! He's so cute!" - Jiashin

"Retarded ah!" - Tchow

"Really lar, frog style use hands and legs together one!" - Jiashin

"Wah jiashin u damn sad ah, buy REAL bag but look like FAKE one." - Francis

" Wah I wanna jump oredi." - Jiashin

"Good good. Wanna jump must call me then I shoot video. Maybe then you'll be the 2nd tammy. " - Sarah

"Then newspaper headline say: Girl17 found jumped with bag. Suspected stolen from pasar malam." - Romario

OPPS. Such converstations of mindless talk. Man its been a long time. Quite fun la.

Oh well... Gosh.

"Sappy love songs suddenly mean something to me. ARGH" - Girl 17

Live Forever

2006-03-28T23:23:00.000+08:00

Maybe I don't really wanna know
How your garden grows
cos I just want to fly

Lately, did you ever feel the pain?
In the morning rain as it soaks you to the bone

Maybe I just want to fly I want to live I don't want to die
Maybe I just want to breathe maybe I just don't believe
Maybe you're the same as me we see things they'll never see
You and I are gonna live forever

- Live Forever, Oasis!!!

So Arisya, Fahmi, Khay and I are re-starting our band for the 9999999999999999th time. :D Of course we keep trying!

So angsty. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Lost

2006-03-28T23:00:00.000+08:00

Lost my phone. Don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Daryl says "its like a part of u is missing right?" Well... not that serious. But bad enough.

Reported the spoilt phone to uncle last night hoping to get some sympathy in the form of 'OK I BUY U NEW ONE!' or something like that. Instead I got "issit? i know i know.. must be the keypad catch fire from all that msging rite!'. -_-

Used mum's phone last night to recieve msged. So some of the msges were left in her phone till today. Mum being the tech-idiot that she is saw that there were msges from unidentified numbers and decided to do the world a good deed and msg the person back. Telling the person 'oh hi you must be sarah's friend.. her phone is spoilt.. blah blah...' Best part I already replied the person looong time ago lar. I don't even know that guy very well la. He must think I'm nuts.. or at least my mum is. He actually replied my mum with 'huh? your're her mother??'

Thank goodness maid has extra phone. See what good lives maids have. I don't even have a phone to use now but she has 2! Goodie..

ARGH. My english is getting worse and worse.. shall stop watching ah beng shows.

WU? Tmr ON? Bluff one....

Wishlist

2006-03-27T20:53:00.000+08:00

All I need is for my computer to work and for my phone's screen to show some sign of life.

Broadway is dark tonight

2006-03-23T18:45:00.000+08:00

My vocal teacher prob thinks I'm a screwed up kid who gets nervous at every little thing and can't move cos I'm physically retarded and I'm as stiff as the Eiffel Tower. But I'm not!! For some reason each time I'm in class I get super nervous and not myself. I don't get it man its just freaking one person!!

And I so gotta know Do Re Mis. Call myself a musician and I don't even know Do Re Mi.

Ok.. So thats one thing that didn't go well today. But... everything was fine I guess. Short school days leave me with more time for myself. :) Thursdays are no longer what they used to be.... HMPH.

I've decided today that since (i think) I have so many commitments then I'll prioritise.

1. Academic school work (mugger.. whatever u say man)
2. Ajcsb
3. Vocal Lessons
4. Friends (WU, yen+jy+cy,tktp, tpjc, tkband etc... )
5. EL (i assume we're taking a break for now. someone please correct me if i'm wrong. though i must defend that i really enjoyed this time last year when this was possibly number one)
6. Family (i don't intend to 'neglect' them cos i love them very much. )

From now on everything else will have to take a queue number.

Van and Mer make me feel like the ambassador for 'true love'. But hey.. Still believing..

You said you'd love to run home but you know you ain't got one,
Cos you're living in a world that you're best forgotten.
- Broadway, Goo Goo Dolls

My internet is so screwy I can't even search for lyrics. :o)

No sch for rara.

2006-03-20T21:36:00.000+08:00

I've got a whole lot of wax in my hair. Washed it at least 5 times already but it won't go off!! So gross! Oily hair.. sheesh...

Price to pay for a good gig maybe? Haha. Well I'd say today went well la. Though Amos almost ended on the wrong chord. But I think at least the sound didn't screw up and neither did i sing anything super out of tune la. :D MOE says they're gonna call us up again to do more stuff. Thats goodie. A definite advantage of staying in school.

Even when i walked through NP i still wonder if i should transfer to poly. So damn tempting lar.

Daryl's hahas is damn cool!! Goth metal. Not exactly my cuppa tea but i can still appreciate la.

Argh. Searching for chinese songs on the web is so difficult.

Hols no more

2006-03-19T12:47:00.000+08:00

OH NO!!! Its Sunday!!

Hols are ending. Sad. But its ok. A levels are ending. See! Its an alternative way to look at it. A levels aren't coming, they're ending!

Its ok. I kinda got a holiday extension cos I don't have sch tmr. :) Amos and I will be performing at the School Video Awards @ Ngee Ann Poly. I think this event is by invite only.

Well though I didn't do much of what I set out to do this hols, I did watch one movie and read one book. So heh, not a total failure rite?

Watched Royston Tan's 15 yesterday afternoon after coming back from Geylang West Gig. The whole show was in some 'ah beng slang' that when I started chatting with ppl on msn after that I couldnt help but sound like an ah lian. Yux. Moral of the story: surround yourself with ppl who can speak properly ok.

The show is quite insightful I must say. Don't know much about the Royston Tan guy but he sure must have observed the ah bengs in Singapore quite well. Whats cool is that he got the characters to play themselves, making it more convincing. Though i wouldnt say they are the best actors la. (Surely not the best looking).

Well its just a different side of Singapore that most of us aren't exposed to la. I mean, when we were receiving our O level results, people around me were considering whether to go to JC or Poly, but none of us considered ITE. For them, its probably the only option after their N levels. Its not a bad thing, just that even though we're a tiny little island of population about 4mil, we seem to go through such different life experiences that make us such different people.

ARGH. Yen is not waking up. Need to buy on-sale converse shoes now. BAH.

Feeling so lethargic today. Fine. Been feeling like that the whole week. I blame it on the hols. I'm sure I'll be able to get more work done when the sch terms starts. :D

yz and lynn: Mug mug sure!! Just call my name.. and i'll be there

2006-03-14T15:17:00.000+08:00

Mums going crazy. Driving me crazy.

See. That's why I wanna get out of here.

Damn my foot........

2 days worth of posts

2006-03-12T13:22:00.000+08:00

Today is Happy Song Mood Day. :D

Bring on the upbeat tempo please!!

U see here's one thing. U know friends... No matter what wrong u do or who u may become in the eyes of the world, in rara's eyes u're still friend. BUT. I won't appreciate it very much if anyone becomes one person and another when I'm around and then when I'm not. Just be real ok. :D

Patch Adams made me cry. Crazy ah. So gross. Unlike some other movies, the movie did not inspire me to become a doctor ok. Well, I don't know if I'm convinced by the show about the whole non-conformist thing. I guess if I read it my way, you only have the right to be non-conformist if u understand the logic behind the rules and regulations but truly believe that there is a better way of going around it.

There are those who hate to conform. They want to go against every possible rule. They express disgust at everything the 'ruling authority' throws at them and for some strange reason they have some kind of ability to gather support for their less than brainless cause. I used to think those that instigated the supporters were bad... now I see the idiots that follow are worse.

(Ok. That part of the post was written 2 days ago but not published. Opps.)

Today, on the other hand, is angry song day. ARGH.

Sprained my ankle on the very 1st day of sch holidays. God is really amazing eh. He's screaming in my face "Stay at home u little devil!!!! Stop walking out of the house!!!! MUAHAHAHA U can't anymore!!!"

Its ok big guy. I got it.

(This is retarded BUT) I think i need to explain that my last post was mostly a joke ok? Don't start thinking that rara went around holding hands with just anyone hor. (Realised that not everyone here is from 3505) Was refering to Gary's tag awhile ago la.

"Oh Fuck it, I'm going to have a party."
- Blankest Year, Nada Surf

2006-03-11T00:04:00.000+08:00

Hey Gary, I think I met the friend u introduced to me today. We even held hands. Sorry but NOT MY TYPE. Thanks for the effort.

Argh. I don't want to be mean. Its just a game rite. Chey. It was QUITE fun la. Esp seeing 35 having fun together again. Seems like quite a rare occurance. We even hip hip hurrayed together!

(Changed topic. Not on the above mentioned person oredi ah.) Made a new friend today. Its official. Not stranger oredi. Now can consider friend. Good good. Two less lonely people in the world. But everyone seems to by flying away. Argh.

Holidays are not that packed. I like it that way. No its not a bad thing not to have ur schedule all cramped up wat. I think I've learned how to appreciate time at home. I'm going to watch good movies and read books this hols. (did i forget to mention study?) Ah the joys of life.

2006-03-08T19:35:00.000+08:00

ever had days where your parents disappointed you?

U HELL DESERVED IT.

Ever considered how many times u have disappointed them? So the world is fair. Some people say that in a cynical way to spite people but today I'd use it to accept my fate.

Maybe if you'd stop being such a disappointment to your parents they won't disappoint u anymore? ok fine. FAT HOPE. Still..

I'd try for one ray of sunlight to hold in my hand, maybe then we'd be happy again

2006-03-08T18:42:00.000+08:00

Even though the sun is shining down on me
and I should feel about as happy as can be
I just got here, and I already want to leave
It's gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day
- Lonely Day, Phantom Planet

I just don't want to try anymore. I want to wake up each day feeling hopeful and ending each day feeling fulfilled and satisfied.

I remember having such days. But they seem so far back in my memory. It used to be such days that drove me.

If I saw me I'd slap myself silly. But its okay. Just chill and laugh to myself about it. At least I'm sane enough not to care about little things la.

The more we get together...

2006-03-02T18:26:00.000+08:00

I see hairy (harry) and abu (ashley) are getting nicely acquainted.

Get comfy ok.. then ya'll will have company at future birthday parties and house-warmings and weddings and of course.. my funeral.

Realised over the past 2 days that hard work is very important.

No, its not just post-seeingJ2taking results symdrome.

Yesterday while peering through the hall glass doors, I noticed 2 of the girls in the crowd. They were both standing in different queues in their classes. Never knew them nor their past, but yesterday I seemed to have witnessed the turning of their future.

One of the girls failed her GP. The other probably did as bad or worse cos she couldnt even bring herself to walk out of the hall. To think that they came to take their results so that they could move on to a University, so that they could move on with their lives. But from their reaction, I guess they are going to be stranded for awhile.

Heard the band seniors results too. Some did well, some did ok. Though it might sound dumb, but it made me realised that anyone of us could be in either category. Unlike the Os where u can be confident you'll get at least a few As, some can't even get a single A in the Alevels. That's where hard work comes in.

Today had vocal lessons. Thought I could just breeze by by singing a song that I knew quite well. I merely practiced for about 1min a day the exercises I was supposed to. I thought, singing is not new to me what, why can't I just get through it. But it ain't easy man. Really requires daily practice.

So that's what I'm going to give in. Work, practice. I think I can handle it. :)

I'll wait for it to come.

2006-02-27T22:37:00.000+08:00

there's a love that transcends all that we've known of ourselves,
and i'll wait for it to come,
i'll wait for it to come.
well, it's got to be strong to touch my heartthrough its shell,
and i'll wait for it to come,
i'll wait for it to come
- Coffee, Copeland

This is kinda my ultimate love song at the moment. Since I don't have any specific love in mind. I'm just waiting. And though I might seem indifferent about love and life at times, I am after all the naive little girl that still believes that one day he'll come.

I guess I haven't met him yet. Cos I think when I have, I will know. Man I just can't wait to meet him la. But of course, don't wanna meet him so soon oso la. Then will have to date him for so long! haha.

He'll appear on the perfect day, when the time, situation and circumstance is more or less right. I think.

Aiyah. Ra is in her little fantasy world. Please shake her out of it.

Katamari

2006-02-26T09:21:00.000+08:00

Laine, a crafty crafter, has made a Katamari (the ball that picks up random oddments in the wonderfully weird games Katamari Damacy and We Love Katamari out of wool and stuffing, with a powerful magnet inside that allows it to actually pick up (ferrous) oddments in the real world! Link (Thanks, Pat!)
- Boingboing.net

Hmm.. Remember 35's obsession with it at class chalet last year.

Ok. Shall try to sound happier today. :)

Well weekend has been good so far. Heard Puma house won the inter-house thing woahoo!!

Recording on Fri night went well too. Though Willian stayed there till 5am, the rest of us got to go home by 3am. :D consolation eh? haha. Had quite a good time recording la. Amos is now my new little brother since we've been mistaken to be siblings more than once already.

Harry's new song is quite nice. (ok i've over-used this but its true la.. )

There are quite a number of things to do this weekend, but I think I'm handling it alrite. :) Don't always have to be so hard on myself or pressure myself so much rite. Just take it easy man..

Don't like people who post anonymously. Just say it in my face and let me know who u are will u. What could I possibly do RIGHT?

Who Do You Think I Am.

2006-02-23T15:01:00.000+08:00

Hey you. Do u know me? (ok la friends. this is not aimed at you.)

I feel misunderstood. Feel like increasingly ppl are expecting me to be this and that. And for quite a while I've just been lead on! Being who other ppl want me to be.

For awhile its quite fun. Cos then u feel that ppl accept u. Of cos they do! You're being what they want u to! But after awhile. Its quite tiring. And then it has come to this point today. Where I feel misunderstood.

But I have only myself to blame.

Eh mer. Don't read this and think I'm being sad hor. I'm really fine. Just reflecting. haha.

Anyway. If I remember correctly, Sarah Yap is quite a simple person. She wants her friends, she wants fun, most of the time she wants family. Yet those are the things that seem to be fading away in her life.

Friends. Can't find them. Sorry ah friends. No offence. I know ya'll are there la. But... Far away la..

Fun. Where? I'm now content with little little joys. I wish I could smile more too u know.

Family. I think its been reveresed. They seem to be running from me now.

I hate being this person who rants on and on about how pathetic my life is. ARGH. So pathetic!! In fact, I'm not that pathetic la. Maybe this blog is just a place for me to vent frustrations. Thats why it looks so negative. I'm mostly alrite. BAH.

Vocals lessons were cool. In chinese though. Rather confusing at times. But hey. She's a gddie teacher indeed. Shall do my cute bubble exercises daily! woahoo!!

EL is recording tmr! Please not through the night. I'll just collapse on amos. Who will probably be squashed underneath me. OUCH.

I set my clocks early cause I know I'm always late.
- Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me, Fall Out Boy

Eh ra. Please learn ok. So that u can stop running after buses and collapsing all over. Thanks.

Musings Of A Grown Up Little Girl

2006-02-19T20:53:00.000+08:00

Outsides just raining I'm stuck at home
No one to hold me yeah I feel cold
I'm caving in in this darkness no
I guess I'll sneak into bed and dream alone...

Chorus:
Of a wonderland and the candyman,
Of all the things I've wanted, and the friends I've parted
Today I'm fine but then I look around,
And find no one around

Who's in that picture, who's that little girl,
She looks familiar, but I'm too old
Look in the mirror and you see what years have done
To that little girl who's sins were none

Oh the time has past the years flew past
And she's trying everyday her best
Oh her hearts been bashed and torn her flesh
But where are all the things she wanted?
She dreams of things see needed...

Chorus

- Sarah Yap '06

2006-02-19T00:06:00.000+08:00

You'll never find a girl sweeter than this. (yes i meant the one on the right.) Happy Birthday Alynna!

OH WHAT BIG EYES YOU HAVE

2006-02-16T23:01:00.001+08:00

I think I should be a doctor. Cos my life is some encyclopedia of sickness.

On todays menu... Conjunctivitis.

V Day

2006-02-14T18:51:00.000+08:00

Valentine's Day was good. Unexpectedly good. :)

I was sooo pessimistic about it this morning. Groaning and complaing to neighbour about how meaningless and expensive V days is and so on..

But I Was Wrong OK!!

For once in my life I saw so much colour and vibe in AJ ah. The balloons that the councillors were selling coloured the dull canteen and smiles and song filled the school. It was a sight that we've all dreamed about.

So I guess "friendship" day isn't such a flop. And there is after all love and friendship to be celebrated even in school. There were music dedications in the canteen, performing groups going from classroom to classroom and so on..

The choir guy came and sang "Your Song" by Elton John. It was so great. Probably the best moment of the day. He was really good i must say. Talent in AJ ok!

Even Joseph's impromtu speech made me wanna cry. Ok 35/05. Stop being cruel to Joseph la. He's a little quirky la. But he's got feelings. And today kinda felt for him la. Oh well..

So it was a good day. (Hey Mer, remember our little lifelong plan ok!!)

The World Spins Madly On

2006-02-12T17:58:00.000+08:00

"just got lost and sat right through the dark... and the world spins madly on"
- The World Spins Madly On, The Weepies (http://www.myspace.com/theweepies)

Worth a listen I tell you. I've listened to the song at least 10 times today.

You could be going through your worst day of your life, you could be getting married and having the happiest day of your life, you could have struck the S$10m toto prize or you could have just lost the dearest person in your life... but the world spins madly on.

I don't know what the song is supposed to teach me. Haha. Ok maybe I'm not supposed to learn anything from it. But, you just get it u know? Its some kind of enlightenment. No matter what momment you're going through, 6 billion people out there are going through all sorts of momments. And however you feel at the end of the day.. the world spins madly on.

Think about it. Even the day you die.. the world spins madly on.

The song doesn't belittle your existence la. Its just the truth. Its not a sad song, its just a really true song.

P.S. Its a song from One Tree Hill Ep13! Its the saddest episode ever. heezz

TAGGED

2006-02-12T00:06:00.000+08:00

1. the tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.need to mention the sex of the target.
2. tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they've been tagged.
3. if tagged a 2nd time; no need to postokayyyy

Thanks Meryl. Here goes 15min of my time out of the window. HMPH.

My Perfect Lover:

"lover" can have so many implications right? Like "lover" the guy to have sex with (Not that I'd ever consider, but I'm just stating it.) or the guy you LOVE (neither do i seem to understand that term so.. ) or just the guy you wanna date.

lover (acc. to dictionary.com)
n 1: a person who loves or is loved 2: an ardent follower and admirer [syn: fan, buff, devotee] 3: a significant other to whom you are not related by marriage (so its not your perfect guy that u wanna marry?!!)

Too confusing.

Anyway...

1. Must be exude a hell lot of confidence yet is the most humble guy. (Its really not a paradox ok)

2. Be able to relate to me on the same level. (Like I don't have to explain things to him all the time and he doesn't feel like he has to do the same for me.)

3. Shares the same perspective about love and life.

4. Stable. Emotionally, mentally and financially. I can't stand a guy with highs and lows and inbetweens.

6. Knows what he wants. For himself, for his future and for me.

7. Is approved by my family and friends. Cos even though its him I'm dating, I want my F&F to realise that he's a good guy too and blah..

8. Adorable. Someone to make me smile when I'm sad and not make me even sadder by agreeing with how pathetic my situation might be. Adorable as in the looks department as well la. I'm not superficial. But PERFECT lover wat.

Whee. Good enough list I think.

The following people, I'm so sorry but I have to do this....

TAGGED: Daryl, Ashley, Stacy, Yingzhen, Mazlinah, Ree, Joce, Feline

It's a Jungle Out There

2006-02-09T20:31:00.000+08:00

It might have taken me a long time. But today I've learnt. Probably will be one of the most valuable lessons I will learn this year. It will go a long long way from today.

There are only so many people you can trust.

Too few. Too few. But I think it is so important to decipher who you should and should not trust because once you reliase u made the mistake of trusting the wrong person, it would have been too late. You would have been already hurt.

I feel so disappointed with this world that I live in. Its so full of evil. For the past 17 years of my life I believed that it was a good place! I have been so optimistic about life and the opportunities that come along with it. Maybe its because I've been blessed and surrounded by great people. But I think its mostly because we were all once kids. As I was once naive and innocent, so were they when I first knew them!

But for them, even as we grow up and some of the things we do are not the most examplary, for some reason there is no judgement made upon them. Even though what they do now may seem so wrong, I still can see through them, and see the real person emerge out of the situation. Its all good.

Argh. So tired of all the bitching and gossiping. I guess some people just have a greater tolerance for it. But at the end of the day I'm just affected. I feel guilty u know. To me its not normal human activity that we go around talking about other people's lives and judging them on our incomplete stories.

Just remembered this book titled It's a Jungle Out There that a parrticular primary school teacher used to read stories out of to us. Anyone has to book? Kinda in the mood for inspirational stories again..

Grammys!

happy bday old man

2006-02-08T21:59:00.000+08:00

Season3Episode9 has got to be the sweetest. But its so unreal! At the end of the episode, all the couples that were either fighting or broke up or something got back together! haha.

But OneTreeHill is so unreal la. (Yes the topic of today) Everyone in the show is soo good looking!! I've got to annouce that I've found my new love. Her name is peyton!! Yup. I have such a super crush on her!

Neway, school has been quite a drag lately. Too much homework but too many episodes of TV shows to watch at the same time. Well thats my fault really. Man I gotta learn some self-control.

Thurs and Fri are now my super short days since band has shifted to monday and I don't have to attend Thurs GP remedial as yet. Hip hip hurray to that!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARYL!!!

Dumb

2006-02-05T18:46:00.000+08:00

ARGH.

I haven't felt so guilty about not doing homework in a long long while now. But this weekend it seems I had so much to do, but I just didn't do much of it.

And I'm going to watch movie later?! WTH. Perfect timing. But I bet it'll be a gd show!

I feel so dumb... BUT... I not Stupid!

X-country

2006-02-03T20:25:00.000+08:00

It was quite a fun time. Though the weather was rather killer hot, but the run felt quite good.

For suar ku me, it was my first visit to MacRichie Reservoir. Yes all the previous road runs and X-countrys i've attended were all at ECP. Realised that its quite a nice place where I will wait to attend Meryl's wedding at. =D

Mum called and scolded me for going X-country despite me being sick. Ok. I think I deserved it la. But staying at home while everyone was out at it would be oh so boring right!

Of late the feel of school has changed. To me it has finally become a place of academic pursuit. Well, to put it in a more negative way, its now nothing to me than a place where I come to everyday to learn so that I eventually score my As. Somehow I feel that after this year, these 2 years is just a part of my life that I'll leave behind and never return to often, unlike the memories of secondary school which I still revisit and the friends I still love to hang out with.

Might not be such a bad thing. Afterall JC is merely meant to be a transition to Uni right? But who knows, things might change. There is still time. Still time to make these years worthwhile.

the whore and the whale?!

2006-02-02T14:57:00.000+08:00

All caught up in the one tree hill + gilmore girls fever!!! Life can't get any simpler than sitting at home watching episode after episode.

Got a 2 day MC today from acting really really sick in front of the doc. He sooo fell for it I tell you. It was quite funny too cos he told me to open my mouth to say "ahhh" but cos I lost my voice so so completely, I couldn't even make a sound. I was desperately trying to "ahh" la! And his reaction was soo drama for a dull looking guy like him. "WAH so red!".

Bumming around with nothing to do is so pointless. I didn't mean to pon sch. But since I was really sick and out of the house, spent my wee hours of the morning with sick o neighbour. Was contemplating watching a RA show called "the whore and the whale" but settled for Fun with Dick and Jane. Something tells me the former might have been a better show. Dick and Jane is really bad. Don't watch it. I'm warning you.

That means that I don't have to run road run! But I might just be a sport and join the walking party tmr la. Cannot over exert you know.

Shit Happens

2006-01-30T19:59:00.000+08:00

Ok.

Ever questioned.. Why did he die? Why did she break up with me? Why did my pet run away from home? why Why WHY WHY WHY?!!!

Here's the answer for u: SHIT HAPPENS.

Opps. Did I forget to mention.. Happy New Year once again.

Chinese New Year Hits!

2006-01-30T10:36:00.000+08:00

Gong Xi Gong Xi Gong Xi Ni

Chinese New Year is Here!! Its been sooo long awaited. But hell its alsmost over. One more day of fun!

This year Chinese New Year seemed to be different. After all the years of being the youngest in the family, a new addition takes away so much attention off me! But I like it this way. Niece is damn damn cute lar. And seeing the joy that comes with being a great-grandmother on my grandma's face is priceless. GREAT-grandmother leh. Seh. Do u ever think you'll get there? (I'm sure we'll make it~)

At least this year I felt more useful at home. Helped out with the cooking a little (believe it or not) and did some errands while waiting for guest. I guess its part and parcel of growing up or being a 'big girl' as the relatives like to put it.

Gambled a little at night over at uncle's place. My winnings were 500% ok!!! See if I had bet $100 each time, means I would have been $500 richer!! But no.. I didn't bet that big. I'm too embarrassed to say how much. :P Not the point. The point is, I won at gambling. Thats it. :D (Vam please don't reveal!! U looked stunning!! :P And we're wearing matching colours!)

† Yang. we have no form, that's why we fear it. And because we are formless we revere it says:
my balls are rather squashed
- hmm. poor thing. not the most auspicious thing to say on cny ah.

2006-01-28T11:27:00.000+08:00

69 mail in inbox. hmm.. bad omen for cny eve la..

Update

2006-01-26T21:09:00.000+08:00

Actually its all very simple. Just have a more positive outlook. Its all about attitude right?

Ok. Vocal assessment thing went well. At least it appeared to me so la. But it could be that the instructor is just trying to cheat my money and make me take the more expensive course. I know mum will pay if i ask her but I don't know if i really want her to pay that much. Oh well..

Officially out of 'chinese new year clothes shopping' money. Spent the last few dollars today while just walking around PS myself. Haven't bought a single bottom. Looks like I'll be running around in my red underwear afterall eh.

Falling sick all over again. Its like a routine thing especially when the sch term starts. I think its cos I don't get enough sleep and don't drink enough water. BAH. Can't help it can't i.

Those damned bugs (whatever they are) are still biting me! I've got swollen sores all over my body! Damn itchy la. Argh. Don't know what is biting!! Mum said "hmm.. maybe its cockroaches". Yes thanks alot. Now i'll be able to so sleep in peace.

Cycle my ass.

2006-01-24T23:35:00.000+08:00

AGAIN.

She just can't get off my back. Anyone else can ,make me feel guilty. But just not her. She doesn't get it neither do i.

ARGH

Everything around me over the past year or so seemed to be on positive growth. Just with her. Everything is just going down. What's wrong with us man.

Why can't u just see it like everyone else does. Why can't u just bother to understand it before u start shouting and hurling at me. WHY?!

I'm so much more than u think of me. I'm no longer than dumb little girl you exoect of me. I've become so much more. And problem is u just don't know it.

U said I'll grow up and I'll understand because life is a cycle. Hell with that ok. I'll never go in that cycle cos I don't belong where you are. I'm not trying to look down on you. But I just wished you understood me more and encouraged me more.

Its your job yes to remind me constantly. But ask yourself. What have you done to encourage me? What have u done to spur me on in my pursuits? Do u even care where I am? Or would u rather me crumble back into postition.

Tis the World For the Beautiful ONLY

2006-01-24T22:06:00.000+08:00

After tuition today, was feeling a little thirsty and decided to drop by the coconut stall on the way home to get a nice little coconut for myself. Upon reaching the stall, I felt utterly embarrassed having to shout for the 'coconut uncle''s attention. However, I got over that and was really excited to place my order for my coconut.

Expecting to be attended to, I said (i'm quite sure he heard me) "uncle, yi ge. xie xie". Yet, Instead of attending to me, as a pretty little lady walked past, his eyes could not but follow her. As I stood in front of him (an old man or "ti koh pek" i may call), I seemed to have turned invisible!! His attention turned to her and he asked her for her order instead!!

After showing my displeasure through some twitching mouth action (which I must commend myself for), uncle further embarrassed me by saying "ah ger, why u twitch ur mouth lidat..".
In the end I got my coconut. And as I was leaving, the uncle said to the pretty little lady "wah u very lucky hor, so pretty".

Thanks uncle. I know, this one not my world. U oso not very handsome leh..

Hey WU, I found a new place we can hang out. This new boardgames hangout cafe thing opened opposite NTUC! Though i expect it to be some bomb expensive, we still should go try ok!

I'm frantically downloading karaoke songs to find something to sing for my vocal assesment test on thursday. Wish me luck!

Rattles Randomly

2006-01-22T13:37:00.000+08:00

Yes ash. Da pai dang food damn nice. Oso damn fat rite.

Not fair. Why does food have to be sooo nice.. yet sooo fatty!! Argh. What happened to pure enjoyment.

So sleepy lately. But no time to sleep late. Damn UN thing. Damn sexuality lessons.

Sing sing sing...

Weijing's birthday is coming everybody. Please remember to get ready.

CNY is coming too. I can't wait for that.

X-country is coming. Dread that like hell.

2006-01-18T00:40:00.000+08:00

Can't believe its 4 days to the weekend..

2006-01-17T22:01:00.000+08:00

Reminder:
This week's wasabi outing organising pair.. please do ur job!
:D

2006-01-15T11:56:00.000+08:00

"Fragile
We are all hanging by a thread...
Fragile...

I've played for many funerals over the courseof my years as a church pianist.
And I'm always struck by the things people rememberin the person being eulogised.
one ever talks about the person's brand of clothes,or car, or the type of make-up she/he wore.
Instead, most people focus on the stuff that endures...
people remember the kind deeds the person did for them...
the way they made them laugh...the little quirks and idiosyncracies that made that person unique...
In the end, it's never about how big a house one built, or
how much money one made...
but it's about the friendships one cultivated...
the love one had for people...
it's about social currency, about the currency of the heart...not the currency of finance."

Got this from corrine may's blog. Man she really something eh. I don't think its about her voice, definately not about her looks. But she's got something special. Her songs really make me think. Sometimes even make me cry.

Why ah, why are we all so materialistic now adays. Not just materialistic la. I feel too many times we seem to be chasing what doesn't matter. But what does?! I just can't seem to find it right..

2006-01-14T13:42:00.000+08:00

Yes cousin Vam! haha. CNY is the festival of meeting u la. Whole year never see each other.. then reunion dinner marks the beginning of our prior meetings! lol.. yes yes.. shopping next sat set ok! :D

"I take it dat u r not staying my place on sat. As and when u plan to then let me noe in advance."

I've been such a let down to some ppl in my life. Her for example. As a kid, she took care of me, brought me out, bought me almost everything i needed, taught me and made me who I am today. She knew that one day I'd grow up and leave her side yet she still loved me anyway.

Yet I. Got lost chasing my dreams and living my own life that now, the people who would never neglect me in their lives I neglect myself. I feel such a failure.

I knew this day would come. I've thought of it before. Should have planned better how to deal with it eh. 2006 will be different. Sorry. But this year I'll make things good again. For myself and for ones who love me.

Thanks for always being there.

Love Sarah

2006-01-13T22:55:00.000+08:00

Feeling so lonely lately. But why won't they understand? :(

Yay. Wasabi meeting tmr nite at DongBei. Its been less than 2 weeks. We're still friends! Well done!

2006-01-10T00:20:00.000+08:00

Third Eye Blind - Jumper

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies
That you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand
I would understand

The angry boy, a bit too insane
Icing over a secret pain
You know you don't belong
You're the first to fight
You're way too loud
You're the flash of light
On a burial shroud
I know something's wrong

Well everyone I know has got a reason
To say
Put the past away
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies
That you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand
I would understand

Well, he's on the table
And he's gone to code
And I do not think anyone knows
What they are doing here
And your friends have left you
You've been dismissed
I never thought it would come to this
And I
I want you to know
Everyone's got to face down the demons
Maybe today
We can put the past away

These days I almost feel like I'm gonna step on the ledge soon. Its just so difficult. And i just keep screwing things up for myself and everyone. Whats wrong with me now man.

2006-01-08T11:52:00.000+08:00

Watched Narnia yesterday and i thought it was such a great show! Beats KingKong flat anytime!! Didn't know the show apparently has some Christian allegory to it. So i read up this morning:

Aslan is not an allegory for Christ. Aslan is Christ in another world that consists of animals, so it is fitting that He would be an animal as well. That is part of the genius of Lewis' logic. Allegory is a type or similarity to something else to show it in a new way. In Narnia there is nothing of this sort. The animals behave like everyday people in the world of a child's imagination and so to is there a Christ figure. Aslan says to the children as they grow older that they must come to know him in their own world by another name. They have to come out of the children's world and realize that Aslan is in the other world, Aslan is Christ. He is not a type of Christ. Edmund is not an allegory for Judas, but is each of us needing to be redeemed. This holds true for every point that is thought to be an allegory in the Chronicles of Narnia. There is no allegory in them, but the Biblical message of Christ in a different world. But I have ranted enough and your wonderful analysis of Narnia does not deserve as seemingly harsh response as this. I'm simply tired of so many Christians not realizing that allegory is not present in these great stories. It is the Christ story, the story of redemption for a fictious world.

Aslan is "lion" in Turkish btw.

Gosh. I love the show. Its so cooooool... Even without the whole cheem-alogy about the Christian thing. Though now that I read about it, it does connect ah. Shall not be a spoiler for those who haven't yet watched it (though i'm probably the last suar ku in singapore to watch it).

2006-01-07T09:38:00.000+08:00

I'm sure We'll Make It.

I think that should be my new name now. Who wants to shout rara. Everyone wants to shout "And I'm sure we'll make it!!"!!

Ok so yesterday was good and bad. Never thought Harry's corny song could become such a hit with the J1s. I think it has now beaten Why to become our most popular song. -_-"

And the councillors tried to kill us by feeding us poisonous mee siam!!!! After eating it yesterday there was some fire in my stomach la!! And today I felt it once again.. ARGH. Budget foood.

So the 1st week of school ended. I survived it without skipping a single lesson. Take that!! Though its really weird at the end of everyday. Cos I'd be thinking "Phew. End of the day.. Now what am i going to do tmr.. " and it HITS ME!! SCHOOL AGAIN?! But yeah. I've been coping well. I'm sure we'll make it...

Mum is major bugging me to study these days. I don't think she'll be stoping anytime soon with my As this year. Man.. That was wierd.. MY As THIS YEAR. Yux. I've got this massive deal with her that i gotta study 5 hours on saturday. Now how the hell am i going to do that. Die Die Die.

But of course. I'm sure we'll make it. :D